Challenge

A Texan walks into an Irish pub and says to the crowd of drinkers, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.”

The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves.

Ten minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.

“Is your bet still good?” asks the Irishman.

The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness.

Immediately the Irishman downs all 10 glasses, drinking them backto- back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement.

The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, “If ya don’t mind me askin,’ where did you go for that 10 minutes you were gone?”

The Irishman replies, “Oh…I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.”

Reporting a death

An Irish priest was transferred to Texas.

Father O’Malley rose from bed one morning. He walked to the window to get a deep breath air and he noticed there was a donkey lying dead in his front lawn.

He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this: “Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”

“And the best of the day to yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’yer lads to take care of the matter?”

Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father, replied, “Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”

There was silence on the line for a moment. Then Father O’Malley replied, “Aye, ’tis certainly true, but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin, which is the reason for me call.” Gross

An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a pub. Each man orders a pint of Guinness. After the pints have been poured and placed on the bar, the men notice that each has a bug floating inside.

The Englishman gags and leaves the pub. The Scot reaches in and picks the wasp out. The Irishman reaches in, picks the fly out, holds it up close to his face and shouts, “Spit it out you thief.”

The cheek of ye

A man walked into a bar in New York and asked the barmaid for a beer and a packet of peanuts.

“Oh. You must be Irish,” she replied.

The man was clearly offended and responded, “The cheek of ye. Just because I order a drink ye assume that I’m Irish. If I ordered spaghetti would that make me Italian?!”

“No” she replied. “But this is a post office…”

And Finally

How do you know if someone found your St. Patrick’s Day joke funny?

They’ll be Dub-lin over with laughter.