Mayview, Missouri – The state high school activities association recently held it’s annual spring meeting and once again there was plenty on the agenda.

Prior to the meeting there was also an emergency session held in Jefferson City with lawmakers brought in to discuss actions from across the state line. Kansas recently announced a desire to steal the Missouri River, having already stolen the K.C. Chiefs. A top official in the Sunflower state announced “we intend to rename the Missouri River, henceforth calling it; The Great Big Kansas Water Way”. We shall see if our elected officials in the Show Me state can put a stop to this nonsense, unlike their efforts to halt a Chiefs takeover. What’s next? The St. Louis Arch moving to Kansas?

At the spring meeting, some of the highlights included; banning NIL money for middle schoolers. Name, Image, and Likeness money is basically ruining collegiate athletes and has already crept into high school sports. The association proactively has put a stop to NIL deals in 8th grade and below citing a recent case where a 6th grade baseball player with a mean fastball from northeast Missouri, was offered a new Tesla if he touted a certain energy drink.

The legislative takeover of the state activities association was also a hot topic. Additionally, an upset lawmaker over injustices to his district over sports outcomes, is heading up a newly formed committee that will have a special hotline in play now for post season games much like when major league baseball has to call New York for guidance on certain calls, or when the NFL reviews certain plays after a coaches challenge.

The newly formed fairness subcommittee will take calls on disputes during games. Initially football, basketball, and curling will be test groups. Coaches or athletic directors will need to whip out their cell phones and call the group and hope for the best if disputed calls should arise.

New sports being proposed as official high school activities are Com Hole, Lawn Darts, and Tik Toe Viewing. Activities that were declined as proposed were Night-time Electric Scooter Racing, Catfish Noodling, Cow Tipping, and Milk Chugging.

Sloof Lirpa, our special correspondent also mentioned this article would run on April Fool’s Day.