Baseball in heaven

An old man is on his death bed, and his best friend comes to visit him. They talk about all of the things they’ve been through, and the one constant is baseball. “You gotta come back, just once,” the friend says, “to let me know if there’s baseball in the afterlife.”

The old man promises he’ll do it, and then passes away.

A few weeks later the man wakes up in the middle of the night to see the ghost of his old friend standing in front of him.

“You came back, just like you promised!” says the man.

“I did. And I have good news and bad news,” says the ghost.

“What’s the good news?” “The good news is that there is baseball in the afterlife!”

“Great! What’s the bad news?” “You’re pitching Wednesday.”

Rally

Some of the animals in the jungle were having a baseball game, and the Insects were getting thrashed by the Lions. At the bottom of the 9th, and 21-4 down, the insects sent in a few millipedes from the bench, and miraculously they scored a bunch of runs and won the game.

Afterwards, the captain of the Lions asks the Insects, “Why didn’t you just start the millipedes? You would have won easily!”

One of the Insects replies, “We would have, but they were still putting their cleats on.”

Fun time

A group of old ladies headed to a baseball game together, and just for fun they snuck in a bottle of vodka to make the game more interesting.

Midway through the game, they’re absolutely trashed and getting pretty loud. There’s a couple sitting behind them, and one of them leans over to the other and says, “What’s going on here?!”

The other responds,“It’s the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded!”

Swap out

Coach came to the mound to take me out of a game when I was pitching. I told him I wasn’t tired. He replied, “Maybe, but the outfielders are.”