The Blind Man

A nun was in her skivvies getting dressed when there was a sudden knock at the door. Startled, she yelled, “Who is it?”

“The blind man!” came the reply.

Relieved, she yelled, “Come in.”

The man walked in, turned red, and said, “So… Where do you want the blinds?”

Knock Knock

A guy is sitting at home when he hears a knock at the door. He opens the door and sees nothing but a snail on the porch. Annoyed, he picks up the snail and throws it as far as he can.

A year later, there’s another knock at the door. He opens it and sees the same snail.

The snail says, “What did you do that for?!”

Talking to God

A man said to God, “God, is it true that to you a billion years is like a second?”

God said yes. The man said, “God, is it true that to you a billion dollars is like a penny?”

God said yes. So the man said, “God, can I have a penny?”

And God said, “Sure, just a second.”

Three Moles

Three moles are traveling underground. The first mole says, “I smell sugar!” The second mole says, “I smell honey.” The third one says with disgust, “All I smell is molasses.”

Short Ones

What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.

Why do mushrooms get invited to all the parties? Because they are such fungis.

Where did the two hamburgers go to dance? The meatball.