Say What?

Came home from work one day and my wife had left me a note: “Hi Honey, Went out with Janice, your dinner is already on the stove, the gas is already on, just light it.

Love you!”

Ouch

My wife yelled from the other room: “Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone’s got a voodoo doll of you and they’re stabbing it?”

I replied: “No.” After a brief pause she said: “How about now?”

Short Ones

My wife and I have decided not to have kids. The kids are taking it pretty badly.

On the way home last night, my wife asked to stop and visit her brother Nicholas. So we took the see Nick route.

My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she’s hot, but honestly… I’m not a fan.

I think my wife has been putting glue on my antique gun collection. She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.