More Hard Workers

Two men were out working in the street. One man would dig a hole, and the other would follow him and fill the hole in.

They worked up along one street and then down the other. They then moved to the next street and did the same, working flat out all day without stopping. One man digging the holes. The other man filling them in.

A passerby saw what they were doing and was amazed at the hard work, but couldn’t understand what they were doing. So he shouted over to the man digging the holes, “I don’t get it – why do you dig a hole, only for the other man to fill it in?”

The man wiped his brow and sighed deeply, “Well, I suppose it probably does looks a bit odd. You see, we’re normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees phoned in sick.”

Annoying neighbors

A man and his wife were lying in bed in their house early one Saturday morning, and the neighbor’s dog was going mental.

Angry, the man jumps up storms out of the room. When he arrived back ten minutes later, the wife said, “What are you doing?”

“I’ve put the little rat in our yard. Let’s see how they like listening to him!”

A Giraffe

A man and a giraffe walk into a bar.

After a few drinks, the giraffe falls over and dies. The man begins to walk out when the bartender stops him.

“Hey, you can’t leave that lyin’ there!” the bartender yells out.

The man turns around, takes a look and says, “It’s not a lion. It’s a giraffe.”

Short Ones

• eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and all they had was 13,749 matches.

• Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?

Because then it’d be a foot.

• What do you call a fly with no wings?

A walk.

• What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

“Supplies!”

• It’s inappropriate to make a “dad joke” if you are not a dad.

It’s a faux pa.

• What did the buffalo say when his son left?

“Bison!”