After High School

Two high school graduates are discussing their future plans.

The first says, “I’m planning on going into farming, it’s what my father does and it makes good money.”

The second asks, “What type of farming? Wheat, corn, cattle?”

“I don’t know man, there are so many fields to choose from.”

After High School II

Three old friends were sitting in a restaurant talking about their sons.

The first man says “My son finished Oxford University, and now he has his own company. He’s married and for his best friend’s birthday he got him a brand new Lamborghini.”

The second one says “Well my son opened his own law firm. He makes tons of money which he spends lavishly on his new fiance, and for his best friend’s birthday he gave him a helicopter.”

The third man sits quietly for a minute, so they press him about his son.

The third man says, “My son? Well he came out as gay.”

“Ok,” they say impatiently, “But what is he doing now?”

“Well, I’m not sure,” the third man says slowly. “But he has two boyfriends and for his birthday they gave him a Lamborghini and a helicopter.”

Back in high school

A woman was sitting in the waiting room for her first appointment with a new dentist. She noticed his diploma, which had his full name.

Suddenly, she remembered a handsome, dark-haired boy with the same name had been in her high school class 40-some years ago. Could he be the same guy that she had a crush on back then?

Upon seeing him, however, she quickly discarded the thought. This balding, gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was way too old to have been her classmate.

After appointment, she asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

“Yes, I did,” he said. “When did you graduate?” she asked.

He answered, “In 1977. Why do you ask?”

“You were in my class!” she exclaimed.

He looked at her closely. Then, that ugly, old, bald man asked, “What did you teach?!”

Short Ones

How did the pirate manage to graduate high school? He wasn’t the top of his class, but his grades here in the high C’s.

My wife was surprised to see me wearing a sombrero in all my high school graduation photos. I had to explain – it was my Señor year.

My graduation gown was the fanciest blanket I’ve ever worn.

I got my high school diploma today…I’m finally upgrading from a free trial to a paid version.

Why did the student try to eat his diploma? He wanted to taste success!

Graduating feels great, but meeting Sallie Mae doesn’t.